How to find & define your "purpose" later in life

Throughout our lives, we accept a number of predefined roles, each with associated tasks, schedules, and behavioral expectations. These roles—student, employee, spouse, parent, and so on—help us understand what is expected of us and the part we play in a broader social system. They set a rhythm for our days and sometimes include ways to measure our performance: grades, salary, promotion, the success and well-being of our children, or others that we care for.

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But what happens when that rhythm is disrupted by big changes in career, loss, retirement, or launching kids into adulthood? What do you do after you’ve mastered all the daily, messy, noisy, absolutely necessary activities of life?

If life is a game and you’ve solved all the puzzles, completed all the levels, and defeated all the bosses, what do you do next?

You get to start a new game.

You get to define the rules.

You get to choose the roles.

You get to engage in activities that have more personal meaning.

You get to decide what your purpose is.

Purpose Coach Misty Sansom; photo courtesy of Misty Sansom

“Finding purpose later in life can often be easier,” says Misty Sansom, a purpose coach based in New Zealand. “By that stage, you’ve had time to see what energizes you and what doesn’t, what patterns keep showing up, and what choices and decisions have felt true to you.”

Judy Alderson, a holistic aging coach in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, calls later life the “encore years.” She encourages clients to cultivate and wisely use the kind of “time freedom” that she found after losing a long-term corporate sales job. “Who’s going to tell me what to do or how?” she asked herself. “What’s my next assignment?”

In Judy’s case, the next assignment was helping people over 60 rediscover their purpose and improve their health.

Purpose is good for you

Those things are related: purpose and health. There’s increasing evidence that having a sense of purpose in life can help us live longer and better. Some examples:

Brain health. A recent study conducted by a team at UC Davis found that a high sense of purpose in life was associated with a 28% lower risk of cognitive impairment.
Disease prevention. People with purpose have a lower risk for heart disease, diabetes, and chronic inflammation.
Overall longevity. Having a purpose in life might help you live longer in general. Studies, including this one from 2022, indicate that people with a high purpose in life outlived peers who did not.
Quality of life. Having a sense of purpose may reduce the incidence of depression and is associated with increased sexual enjoyment for women.
Purposeful people are desirable. People with a sense of purpose are considered more attractive than those without.

Many of the health benefits may stem from a key behavioral difference: purposeful people tend to take better care of themselves.

What is purpose?

So, what does it take to be a purposeful person?

holistic aging coach Judy Alderson; photo by Lunar Studio — Holistic Aging Coach Judy Alderson; photo by Lunar Studio

If you’re anything like me, you might be thinking: “I have a purpose. I think I have a purpose. Wait, do I have a purpose? What is purpose again?” It’s good to check. Broadly speaking, a purpose is an intention that guides actions toward a personally meaningful goal, set of goals, or outcome.

The activities that people associate with purpose vary across cultures and demographics. Some people focus on family, others on personal growth and development. Some choose to serve their community or a higher power. Yet others are motivated to create something (a work of art, an invention, a process, a content site) that has a profound impact on the world.

Ultimately, what your purpose is might not matter as much as having one.

“Every purpose is equally important,” says Misty Sansom. “What matters isn’t the scale of your purpose, but that you are living it, that you are bringing it to life.”

Some fortunate few know what their purpose is at a relatively young age and live their lives accordingly. For others, discovering or recovering a purpose might require focus, effort, and time. But where do you start?

Discovering (or recovering) your purpose

One approach is to work with coaches like Sansom and Alderson, who specialize in helping people find what they were meant to do. Here are a few tips from them that might help you launch your purpose journey:

1. Start with you. Consider your skills, personality, and preferences.

“Finding your purpose can feel overwhelming, but it really begins with understanding yourself,” says Misty Sansom. “Purpose isn’t found by looking outward for a cause to attach to but rather looking inward toward who you are and how you’re meant to express that.”

“You can start building it even just by finding and understanding that whole,” Judy Alderson says. She suggests that purpose-seekers ask themselves, “What am I good at?”

2. Decide how you want to feel. Operating with purpose isn’t just about achieving goals; it’s also about getting to a desired emotional state.

“We often chase goals in our career or personal life, but rarely consider how we want our lives to feel,” Sansom says. “Do you like to feel calm? Creative? Free? Connected? That emotional foundation helps to identify which paths fit best and helps you avoid pursuing things that look good on paper but feel wrong in practice.”

3. Remember what you love. There are likely recurring themes in your life.

“Pay attention to what you’ve always been drawn to, even in small ways,” Sansom says. “Those repeating patterns often point straight toward your purpose.”

Alderson encourages investigating why you excel at specific tasks and processes. In her case, she asked: “Did I love having quotas and that pressure? No. But I love providing solutions.”

4. Be clear about your values. Understanding your core beliefs will help you set direction.

“Your values act as a personal compass,” says Sansom. “When your actions are aligned with your values, how you like to feel, and who you truly are, life feels more meaningful and congruent.”

5. Give yourself time. Carve out dedicated time to reflect on your purpose and understand that the process might take a while.

In Alderson’s case, it took ten years and a lot of experimentation to zero in on her purpose. She said yes to a lot of opportunities—and then said no if the fit wasn’t right. “Allow yourself to go through that process, and understand that saying yes doesn’t mean forever,” she says.

6. Remember that you don’t have to save the world. Right-size your purpose and make sure it’s highly relevant to you (see item 1).

“Let go of the idea that your purpose has to be something grand,” Sansom says. “Your purpose doesn’t need to sound extraordinary to anyone else. What matters is that it feels true to you.”

7. Do regular check-ins. Does the purpose still resonate? Does it inform how you spend your time? Are you making the kind of difference that matters to you?

Alderson uses an annual vision statement to confirm that her actions and purpose are aligned. This approach inverts what she experienced while she was in sales. “My career led and I followed,” Alderson says. “Now I’m leading.”

Tell us about your purpose journey

How about you? Are you leading your life through purpose? How do you use your purpose to decide how to spend your time and guide your actions? Or are you just getting started on a purpose journey?

We want to know. Contact us here so we can share your story with others on Nifty 50+.