Dick Van Dyke encourages people to build friendships; photo by Kathy Hutchins

Dick Van Dyke says to ‘find your people;’ it leads to a healthier life, studies confirm

ByRachel Ann Melegrito

Dick Van Dyke turns 100 years old on December 13 and his new book entitled ‘100 Rules for Living to 100” has tons of insight about longevity and staying healthy as you age. One of his nuggets of advice: Find Your People.

Friendships play an important role in our lives. But as we age, staying connected can get trickier. Retirement, health challenges, loved ones moving away, or even just feeling “too tired to go out” can make it easy to retreat.  But here’s the good news: it’s never too late to build meaningful connections—and doing so might just keep you healthier and happier.  And plenty of scientific studies back that up.

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Your Social Circle Is More Powerful Than You Think

A study published in the journal Innovation in Aging analyzed data from 3,005 older adults to get an idea about how social connections evolve as you get older and its possible impact on self-rated health. Over roughly 10 years, researchers checked in periodically to learn who participants talked to, confided in, and spent time with. By the final follow-up, about 1,500 people were still participating.  The findings were clear: those with larger, more diverse social networks—meaning they had trusted contacts beyond family and engaged regularly in activities like church, volunteering, or community events—reported better health and felt less lonely. In contrast, people whose relationships were more “restricted” were more likely to feel isolated and rate their health more poorly.

“The findings (of the study) were clear: those with larger, more diverse social networks—meaning they had trusted contacts beyond family and engaged regularly in activities like church, volunteering, or community events—reported better health and felt less lonely.” Study in the journal Innovation in Aging

The researchers grouped older adults into three “network types,” each offering a different social reality:

Enriched Networks

These folks are social butterflies — in the best way. They have an average of four or more confidants, many of whom aren’t family. Nearly 70% are married, and they’re the most likely to volunteer, attend services, or join local events.

Focused Networks

This group has a small but mighty network. These adults have only about 1–2 close contacts, but they see and talk to them often — 250 days a year or more. These relationships are diverse (not just family), and though smaller, they’re strong. This group is less lonely, but their small circle is fragile if a friend moves or passes away.

Restricted Networks

This is the group at risk. They have about 4 confidants — sounds okay — but most are family, and half live alone. They’re less likely to socialize outside the home and have fewer options when they need help.

Isolation Does You Harm

Older adults are more likely to be alone and isolated—and it has a toll. It puts you at a higher risk of heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline.

In the study, those in Restricted networks consistently showed poorer health, even from the beginning of the study.  But adult friendship is not a numbers game. The Focused group, despite having the fewest confidants, still reported less loneliness than those in Restricted networks. That suggests one powerful thing: it’s not always how many people you know that matters, but how often and authentically you connect.  Unfortunately, aging doesn’t just make it harder to stay connected—it can lock some people into isolation. As the years passed, the proportion of people in Restricted networks nearly doubled. Older adults often shift into these networks as they age, and those already in them rarely leave—over 85% stayed there throughout the study.

“If you start off in a restricted network, the likelihood that you’re going to move out of it is low,” Lissette Piedra, a professor of social work at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, said.

According to the study, being in a Restricted network may disadvantage older adults because it may:

  • Limit access to diverse information and resources, such as healthcare or social services
  • Increase loneliness, which is a known risk factor for illness and early mortality
  • Reflect structural inequities, such as racism, language barriers, segregation, or economic instability

What Shapes Your Circle?

So why do some people stay in more expansive, enriching social circles while others become more isolated over time? The study uncovered several key factors that influence the type of network an older adult is likely to have:

  • Education helps: more education = more likely to be in diverse networks.
  • Age works against you: older adults tend to shift into Restricted networks over time.
  • Gender and race matter too: Women and some minority groups were more likely to have limited networks.

But there’s a hopeful takeaway. If you’re in a small or more restricted network today, it doesn’t mean you’re destined to stay there. The Focused group proved to be a pivot point. Nearly half of these individuals eventually transitioned into Enriched networks. That means even with a modest circle, older adults can still expand and diversify their connections over time. Isolation doesn’t have to be part of aging. It’s possible to build toward richer social support at any stage.

Why Friendships Matter in Old Age

Science is clear: your friendships are good for your heart, brain, body, and soul. In a Korean study on older adults, frequent contact with friends had a bigger impact on happiness than interactions with family or neighbors. Why? Friends tend to bring more joy and fewer stressful conversations, serving as a key source of emotional ease and companionship.  But it’s not just about seeing friends often—it’s about feeling close to them. Older adults with high-quality friendships reported better emotional well-being than those with only casual or distant connections.  The benefits of friendship stretch well beyond mood. Research shows that staying socially active helps preserve cognitive function into late life. In one long-term study, each one-point increase in social activity, from chatting regularly to participating in group events, was linked to a 47% slower rate of cognitive decline.

That’s a powerful protective effect. It’s likely due to a combination of brain stimulation, reduced stress responses, and the healthier habits that often come with social engagement. Other studies have consistently found that socially connected older adults have a lower risk of dementia and experience less memory loss over time. In essence, friendships act like a kind of cognitive exercise—a fitness routine for your mind.

When we think about aging well, we might picture balanced meals and daily walks. But meaningful connections—especially friendships—belong on that list, too. They’re nourishment for the nervous system and a buffer against the emotional and cognitive challenges that can emerge with age.  So, follow Dick Van Dyke’s advice and go find your people.

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Rachel Ann Melegrito is an experienced health writer with over five years in the field and bylines in publications such as Medical News Today and The Epoch Times, as well as various health brands.

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