Want to be a better spouse? Get an exercise routine

For most of my 20s, my day started with a brisk three-mile run. It didn’t matter if I’d been up late hammering away at a work project or if my friends and I had closed down the bar the night before (they say you need to carbo-load before a run, and beer technically fits the bill).

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With few exceptions, like clockwork, I was out there pounding the pavement before heading to work or doing whatever my weekend had in store. As I’ve gotten older, it’s become increasingly difficult to incorporate regular exercise into my weekly schedule.

I can chalk it up to a combination of inconsistent sleep, persistent work deadlines, and child demands. Or, I can stop making excuses and say that I’m just not prioritizing fitness these days like I did in the past. The reality, though, is that I need to do better – not just for the sake of my body, but also, my mental health and even my relationship.

Skimping on fitness could come back to bite you

The CDC says physical activity is essential for healthy aging. But it also found that 28% of Americans ages 50 and older are physically inactive. To be fair, the data the CDC cites is pretty dated. But as the CDC points out, physical activity can be instrumental in staving off health issues. It can also lead to a more positive mental health outlook. And on the flipside, not being physically active can cost you.

The CDC says four out of five of the most expensive chronic health conditions among adults 50 and over can be prevented or managed with physical activity. You may be a bit too young to be worrying about your healthcare costs in retirement. But Fidelity says the average 65-year-old retiring in 2024 can expect to spend an astounding $165,000 on healthcare when factoring in Medicare premiums, copays, and other out-of-pocket expenses. Reading between the lines, if you kick off retirement with chronic health issues, your costs could climb even higher. So if you’re not motivated to establish a fitness routine for the sake of being healthier, do it for the benefit of your wallet.

Your relationship could benefit, too

When I’m feeling too glued to my desk chair, it messes with my mental health. And that makes me a less pleasant person to be around, which is unfortunate for my spouse. Thankfully, he gets it. Like me, he wants to prioritize fitness but sometimes just can’t make it fit in between meetings, home repairs, and our kids’ travel sports schedules. But the reality is that once you reach your 50s, not only might your body need the exercise, but your relationship might, too.

Exercising regularly could improve your mood, leading to a more positive relationship with the person you live with. And working out together, if your preferred activities and fitness levels are similar, could help make up for all of those date nights you keep having to postpone.

How to get back into the groove

A big part of prioritizing a fitness routine in your 50s is accountability. To that end, enlist your spouse/partner, a friend, a colleague, or someone you know will get on your case if you ditch the evening walk you pledged to take together. If you can’t find someone to team up with, buy a fitness tracker. There’s something very humbling about only seeing your step count reach 982 by evening. Better yet, schedule fitness time on your calendar the same way you would a meeting or doctor appointment.

As far as what to focus on, Johns Hopkins says muscle strength commonly declines with age, so it’s a good idea to focus on strength training. Cardio is important, too, but it’s not enough. Lift weights at home or at the gym. But tread lightly. If you’re new to lifting weights, consider working with a trainer for a session or two to avoid overdoing it. Also remember to stretch before and after a workout. Johns Hopkins says tendons get thicker and less flexible with age. There’s nothing like an injury to upend your newly established fitness routine, so do your best to avoid one at all costs.