The ‘great wealth transfer’ is here, but 50% of families are not talking

The Great Wealth Transfer, which Cerulli Associates estimates at a staggering $105 trillion passed from Baby Boomers to heirs by 2048, is in full swing.

Yet, the new Fidelity Investments 2025 Family & Finance study found a significant disconnect in how families are preparing. The study found that while 97% of families acknowledge that having conversations about estate planning is crucial, “nearly one-half have yet to engage in the critical conversations.”

“Honestly, I’m not surprised at all – this is exactly what I hear from families every day,” said Ryan Viktorin, vice president, CFP at Fidelity Investments. “People know these conversations matter, but they’re hard to start. Talking about money, inheritance, or health care can feel uncomfortable, even taboo.”

Viktorin added that the fact that 68% of parents haven’t shared inheritance details or 52% haven’t discussed net worth, reflects that hesitation. In parallel, there is also a generational disconnect, as 95% of adult children feel ready to manage wealth, but a quarter of parents disagree, she said.

“That gap is real, and it’s why these conversations are so critical,” she added.

Talking about money, inheritance, or health care can feel uncomfortable, even taboo.
– Ryan Viktorin, VP, CFP at Fidelity investments

Communication is key

Dr. Barbara Sparacino, an adult and geriatric psychiatrist, and founder of The Aging Parent Coach, explained that this is classic human behavior: we agree something is important in theory and avoid it in practice. As she noted, talking about estate planning forces families to confront aging, illness, and death—three topics most of us are wired to push away.

“So I’m not surprised by the gap, but I am concerned by it. It means a lot of families are waiting until a crisis to talk, when emotions are highest, and clarity is lowest,” she said.

The Fidelity study underscores this point, finding that as people get older, they are often less inclined to discuss issues around estate planning, long-term care, or their family’s involvement. Fidelity’s Viktorin said that while this is natural, delaying these conversations often means decisions get made in a crisis, which is stressful for everyone.

Beyond the potential financial and legal implications of avoiding these conversations, there can also be emotional and relational pitfalls. For instance, Dr. Sparacino said that siblings can end up fighting not just over money, but over their interpretations of what Mom or Dad “really wanted,” or adult children may feel blindsided—either by an inheritance they didn’t expect or by the lack of one they assumed would be there.

So I’m not surprised by the (communication) gap, but I am concerned by it. It means a lot of families are waiting until a crisis to talk, when emotions are highest, and clarity is lowest.
– Dr. Barbara Sparacino, geriatric pyschiatrist

“Grief gets tangled up with anger, guilt, and regret: “Did we do what they wanted? Why didn’t they tell us?” she said. “Silence doesn’t prevent conflict; it just postpones it until you’re not there to help resolve it.”

What can parents do?

Sparacino said she encourages parents to think of this as “sharing a roadmap,” not “handing over the keys.”

“You don’t have to disclose every line item, but you do need to give your family enough clarity to carry out your wishes without guesswork,” she said.

Key points parents should address include overall goals and values. In other words, talk about what you most want your money to do—protect a spouse, support kids, fund grandkids’ education, give to charity, preserve a family home?

Another important point is who is in charge of what: who is your executor, who has financial power of attorney if you’re incapacitated, who is your healthcare proxy or medical decision-maker?

“This alone can prevent massive confusion in an emergency,” she said.

Of course, health and long-term care plans are also crucial, including whether you have an advance directive or living will, whether you want to stay at home as long as possible, or are open to assisted living, and how you plan to pay for care. Finally, parents need to be open about the basic shape of their estate, how things are being divided and why, and where to find important documents such as wills, policies, and key contacts.

As for when the right moment is to have these discussions, several experts said that with the holidays coming up, family gatherings can be a good starting point.

“Even starting with what you don’t want can help clarify what you do want—preventing confusion and giving your family clarity, comfort, and peace of mind,” Noelle McEntee Legado, CEO and co-founder of estate planning firm Legado, said.

What can heirs do?

Now, adult children also have a role in these sometimes-difficult conversations. Viktorin recommends approaching them with empathy and framing it as a way to honor your parents’ wishes. She said that good starter questions include: asking them what matters most to you as you think about the future; “Do you have a will or estate plan?”; “Who would you want to make decisions if you couldn’t?; “How can we help make sure your wishes are carried out?”

Finally, as Sparacino puts it: Make it a series, not a summit — shorter, recurring conversations about healthcare this month, about the will next month, about the house later —are more realistic and less emotionally loaded.

She said that using professionals, such as financial advisors, estate attorneys, and sometimes therapists or family coaches, can also be helpful, as they can act as “referees” in sensitive conversations, especially in blended families or where there’s already tension. Delaney Haley, who oversees customer care at estate settlement platform Alix, echoed the sentiment, saying that asking for help can also be difficult, but can alleviate many headaches.

Most people who are going through the process of settling a loved one’s estate simply want to do a good job and ensure that their loved one’s final wishes are honored, said Haley.

“ That’s a beautiful thing, but it’s not always an easy thing. What I would tell people is that it’s ok to ask for help,” she said. “The estate settlement process as it stands today is hard to navigate, and it’s needlessly archaic and complicated. Hiring someone to help doesn’t mean you’re shirking your responsibility; it means that you’re going to ensure that it’s done correctly.”

Finally, remember the emotional layer.

As Sparacino explained, for many older adults, the estate conversation is not just about money; it’s about legacy, fairness, and fear of becoming a burden. Asking, “What do you hope we remember about you and how you handled money?” often opens a much deeper, more meaningful dialogue than ‘What am I getting?’,” she said.

“Talking about inheritance isn’t about being morbid or greedy — it’s about making sure the people you love are cared for, not confused, when they need clarity the most,” she added.