Rightsizing: A Positive Approach to Downsizing for 50+

As retirement and empty nest syndrome approaches, it’s natural for those 50+ to take stock and think about what the next phase of life will look like. For many, that means downsizing. Whether it’s moving into a smaller home that’s easier to maintain, a community for the 55+ set, or another living arrangement, you may be starting your next chapter in a completely different place. Talking about making a change is one thing—taking the step is another. So where do you start?

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First, get in the right mindset. Downsizing isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, Jami Shapiro, certified senior advisor and founder of Silver Linings Transitions, calls it something else. “I prefer the term ‘rightsizing’, because ‘downsizing’ has such a negative connotation. Rightsizing is more positive because it’s ‘right’ for the life you’re living now,” she explains.

Having the conversation

But like most big changes, taking that first step can be difficult. Jack and Ana Fuquay of Bee Organized Fort Lauderdale frequently work with people transitioning to new homes. Ana Fuquay suggests taking baby steps because making a big change can be overwhelming. “The conversation may be initiated with some fear, and questions like ‘How are we going to do this?’, or ‘Where do we start?’ are common. There’s a lot of planning that has to happen before people reach out to people like us or to movers. There’s the thought of whether a person is moving to their last home. There’s a lot of discussion that has to happen, because these are big decisions for people,” she says.

“I’m in my 50s and even my generation doesn’t want a lot of what our parents pass down to us.  It’s about thinking through a lot of that. Do you have to move some things into storage? Can we have an estate sale? A lot of it really depends on how the person moving feels about it.”

Jennifer Walker, professional organizer with Simple Beach Living/JW Organizers and realtor with The Volen Group/Keller Williams Luxury International

When you have made the decision to move, think about the type of place you want to live. Consider your health and your spouse’s and come up with a “must have” and “nice to have” list. Do you want a smaller home that’s easier to maintain? An apartment or condominium in a 55+ community where maintenance like shoveling snow or mowing the lawn is taken care of? Do health issues mean assisted living is a possibility? If your children are assisting with the transition, consider their input, as well.

Prepping the space

Regardless of where you’re moving, you’ll likely have to part with some of your belongings. This is the perfect opportunity to go through your home’s storage areas and clear out the items you no longer want, use, or need. Even if you are excited about the move, sorting through your possessions can be an emotional task. The Fuquays have seen people run the emotional gamut. Sometimes working with an impartial third party like a trusted friend, neighbor, relative, or hired professional organizer who has no sentimental attachment to your belongings makes the job easier.

“We’ll go through item by item and keep asking the person, ‘Is this something you’ll use?’, ‘Does it have meaning?’ If the answer is yes, put it to the side. We make piles for keep, donate, give to family, and throw away. We tell the person to think about the space they’re going into. For instance, if a person is going from a four-bedroom, two-bath home to a space with two bedrooms and one and a half baths, where will they put all of this?” Ana says.

Jack says when they work with a client, sometimes it’s just about having a real, honest conversation. “We’ll ask, ‘do you need these dishes? Will you be hosting dinner parties or Christmas dinner?’ If the answer is no, and it’ll just be the two of them, they probably don’t need as much.”

If you’re reluctant to part with items, sometimes a walkthrough of your new living space is the last push you need to thin out your belongings. Your new 1- or 2-bedroom condo may just be too small for your grand piano or dining room set that seats 12.

Handling heirlooms

Then there are items like jewelry or treasured collections.Family members seem like the most obvious recipients of your dearest treasures, however, don’t be surprised if you’re met with some resistance. Younger people want experiences, not necessarily more things.

“We’re living really differently. We used to live near our families, gather around the table, share meals. If you wanted to see a picture, you’d sit next to someone and look at an album. We just don’t collect the things anymore,” says Shapiro. “Older people hold on to things. Younger people are more minimalist and don’t live the same way.”

So your wedding china or the entire line of collectibles you’ve accumulated over the years may not mean as much to your children or grandchildren as they meant to you. Maybe one of your children or grandchildren might want a few pieces from a set, or a few important collectibles that have some meaning to them. Consider donating truly unique, vintage pieces of jewelry like hatpins, tie tacks, or brooches, or accessories like gloves to a local theater group’s costume department.

 “I’m in my 50s and even my generation doesn’t want a lot of what our parents pass down to us,” admits Jennifer Walker, MBA, professional organizer with Simple Beach Living/JW Organizers and realtor with The Volen Group/Keller Williams Luxury International.  “It’s about thinking through a lot of that. Do you have to move some things into storage? Can we have an estate sale? A lot of it really depends on how the person moving feels about it.”

You may have to accept that some of your possessions won’t end up staying in the family despite your best efforts. Shapiro suggests having a family show and tell to explain the meaning and story behind some of the items. “When you share the story behind the significance, a family member might want it. Just understand they may not want everything—they might be more willing to say yes to a few pieces rather than a whole set of something.” She adds, “Get clear on what’s really important. We used to be family historians, and most of us just aren’t sentimental anymore. We digitize things and just don’t want the ‘stuff’.” However, she notes that clearing out items can be good for us mentally and emotionally. “Proactively going through your possessions and conducting a Swedish death cleaning — that’s a blessing. Just be sure your relatives know who gets what.”

And give yourself the time you need. It’s normal to feel a little sad about going through several years’ worth of possessions regardless of how you feel about moving. “It took a lifetime to accumulate everything. Don’t expect to let it all go in one weekend,” Shapiro says.

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