Becoming at peace with your (newly) empty nest & your (now) adult children

When the last child leaves home, the quiet can feel overwhelming, but Suzy Mighell, creator of Empty Nest Blessed and author of Empty Nest Blessed: 60 Days to Finding Joy in the Empty Nest, believes this transition can also mark the beginning of a joyful new chapter. Mighell explains how women can rediscover themselves, strengthen relationships with adult children, and approach the holidays with more peace and purpose.

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Mighell talks openly about the identity shift that many empty nesters experience. After years of being the “go-to person,” the expert on schedules, appointments, and emotional needs, she describes feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to use her time when her last child left home. In her book, she emphasizes that mothers often forget who they were before raising children and encourages women to reconnect with that earlier version of themselves. She suggests writing down the skills and passions you had before you became a mom, then adding the abilities you developed during motherhood. This includes everything from being a chef and chauffeur to being a counselor and medical diagnostician. She also recommends asking friends and loved ones to describe you in three words, an exercise that gave her surprising clarity when she did it herself. Rediscovering identity, she says, gives women the grounding they need to approach the holidays without clinging to old roles or feeling lost when traditions naturally evolve.

Building Healthy Relationships with Adult Children

One of Mighell’s strongest messages is that relationships must change when kids become adults. She explains that while parents are navigating their own emotional transition, their children are facing a big transition, too. Adult kids need reassurance, not pressure, and Mighell cautions against expressing sadness in ways that make them feel responsible for a parent’s happiness. She notes that telling them repeatedly how much you will miss them can unintentionally communicate emotional dependence. Instead, she encourages parents to use confidence-building language such as “You’ve got this” and “You’re ready.” She also stresses the importance of listening without jumping in with advice or suggestions, which can increase anxiety rather than support independence. During the holidays, this means allowing adult children the space to bring new traditions, relationships, and time constraints into the picture. Expectations should be discussed early and calmly, without emotional intensity, and Mighell reassures parents that decisions do not need to be permanent. A simple approach like “Let’s try this and revisit it later” can help families navigate changing schedules and evolving dynamics with far less stress.

Empty Nest Blessed book by Suzy Mighell; photo courtesy of AD Media Group

Holidays often bring emotional weight, especially when traditions are shifting. Mighell encourages parents to avoid assumptions and instead have clear conversations about plans, time together, and logistics. In her book, she talks about the importance of “crucial conversations” around communication and expectations, and those same principles apply to the holiday season. Adult children may divide their time between families, have limited availability, or want to celebrate differently. Rather than taking these changes to heart, Mighell encourages parents to view them as a normal and healthy part of growing up. She emphasizes finishing strong as a parent, meaning you support your child’s independence and do not add emotional burden at a time when they are managing their own transitions. A thoughtful, flexible approach leads to more joyful holiday gatherings and preserves long-term closeness.

Strengthening Your Partnership in the Empty Nest

An empty nest can also breathe new life into relationships. Mighell shares that once the daily demands of parenting fade, many couples rediscover each other. The holiday season becomes less about loss and more about possibility. With more time and space, couples can date again, explore new interests, and enjoy experiences together that were hard to prioritize for years. Her book reinforces the idea that midlife is a time of stepping into confidence, strength, and renewed purpose. During the holidays, this shift gives couples an opportunity to develop new traditions that reflect who they are now, not who they were when their children were young. Across her work, Mighell returns to the idea of choosing joy. She acknowledges the sadness and uncertainty that can come with an empty nest, but she encourages women to honor their feelings while recognizing the beauty of what’s ahead. Her holiday guidance echoes her broader message to embrace change, release pressure, encourage your adult children, invest in your relationships, and allow new traditions to emerge naturally. To Mighell, the empty nest is not an ending but a beginning — one filled with purpose, growth, and the opportunity to rediscover joy in ways that feel fresh and meaningful in this season.