Older Adults Caring for Family With Cancer: Tips For Getting Support
Cancer caregivers can step in to support a loved one throughout their journey, from transporting them to doctors’ appointments to offering emotional support during difficult times. Because many cancers are diagnosed in later life, many cancer caregivers are older adults themselves, caring for a spouse, parent, or friend.
Depending on the type and stage of cancer, the disease can significantly affect a person’s ability to complete daily activities independently. As caregiving responsibilities increase, older adults may find themselves spending less time on their own hobbies, self-care, and social connections.
If you’re caring for someone with cancer, know that you’re not alone, and there are ways to find support.
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The Unique Challenges Older Cancer Caregivers Face
Older caregivers often face many of the same challenges as younger caregivers, but age-related health concerns can add another layer of complexity. About half of adults have two or more chronic illnesses, which could make caregiving more difficult.
“Older caregivers are often juggling their own declining physical realities while coordinating medical schedules and providing emotional support,” says Christina Merrill, founder and CEO of CancerBuddy. “Many are managing their own health conditions at the same time, which adds another layer of complexity to the caregiving role.”
“Caregiving is an act of profound love, and finding support strengthens your ability to show up fully for the person you’re caring for.”
Christina Merrill, founder and CEO of CancerBuddy
The Demands of Cancer Care
Cancer caregiving often involves a wide range of responsibilities, including:
- Scheduling appointments
- Managing their medications and side effects
- Navigating insurance and treatment decisions
- Providing emotional support during a stressful time
These responsibilities can be taxing and may leave you feeling drained at the end of the day. You may find yourself with little time to rest and take care of your own health.
When Daily Life Starts to Shrink
Caregiving can sometimes require round-the-clock care, leaving little to no time to indulge in your own interests, spend time with friends, or engage in self-care. Over time, you may realize that you’re constantly declining events, or that family and friends stop reaching out entirely.
“Caregivers’ social worlds can shrink gradually even without them fully realizing it’s happening,” Merrill says. “Days are suddenly centered around appointments and treatment schedules, and friends may not always understand why plans may begin to fall through. Even when a strong support system exists, people on the outside may be hesitant to reach out, assuming the caregiver won’t be able to participate.”
Merrill adds that recurring moments of social isolation can compound over time, impacting your emotional and physical well-being. Loneliness is a common issue among seniors, with research showing that one-quarter (24%) of seniors aged 65 and older are socially isolated.
Why Loneliness Can Be So Harmful for Caregivers
As previously stated, loneliness is one of the most common challenges for caregivers. Research has linked prolonged loneliness and social isolation to higher risks of depression, heart disease, cognitive decline, and other health problems in older adults.
Many caregivers feel that no one really understands what they’re going through, and may not know who to reach out to for support. In some cases, being the caregiver to someone with cancer can be as dangerous as the disease itself, as chronic stress, social isolation, and existing health conditions wear you down.
“Loneliness opens the door for physical health consequences,” Merrill says. “Connection and support can make a tremendous difference in reversing those effects, which is why creating accessible ways for caregivers to find each other matters so much.”
How Older Caregivers Can Stay Connected and Find Support
If being a cancer caregiver is making you feel socially disconnected, use the following tips to find connection and support:
Accept Help When It’s Offered
Even if you feel like you can do everything on your own, don’t turn down help when it’s offered. Friends and family members may be able to assist with meal preparation, transportation, errands, or respite care. The smallest forms of assistance can make a world of difference — while also reducing caregiving burden.
Seek Out Others Who Understand
“The most impactful support comes from people who genuinely understand what you’re experiencing,” Merrill says. Connecting with someone who’s facing a similar situation can sometimes be more beneficial than talking to someone unfamiliar with caregiving challenges. Other caregivers can provide validation and practical advice to make caregiving less stressful. Plus, it’s an opportunity to make new friends, which can help you overcome social isolation.
Explore Virtual Support Options
Seeking digital support — whether that’s online support groups, video meetings, digital communities, or caregiver-focused apps — can be beneficial for caregivers who may not be able to meet in person. “While traditional support groups are a saving grace for many, they often require leaving the house at specific times, which can be unrealistic when you’re managing someone’s care around the clock,” Merrill says. “For older caregivers specifically, mobility issues or their own health conditions can make attending in-person meetings even more challenging.”
Some caregivers may find support through the app CancerBuddy, a digital platform that lets you connect with other cancer caregivers wherever you are — whether that’s at home or in a doctor’s waiting room.
“The platform helps caregivers, alongside patients and survivors, find others who share their specific situation, whether that’s someone caring for a spouse with lung cancer or managing a parent’s treatment,” Merrill says. She adds that caregivers can connect with peers based on factors such as diagnosis type, relationship to the patient, age, hospital, or location, then communicate whenever it fits their schedule.
The Takeaway
Experiencing caregiving challenges is completely normal and quite common. But taking care of someone else while also handling age-related issues can compound those difficulties, leaving you physically and emotionally overwhelmed.
Seeking support doesn’t mean you’re not committed to the role or that you don’t truly love the person you’re caring for. Caregivers’ well-being is as important as the well-being of the person receiving care. Finding support won’t eliminate the challenges of caregiving, but it can make the journey feel less isolating and help your own health along the way.
“Caregiving is an act of profound love, and finding support strengthens your ability to show up fully for the person you’re caring for,” Merrill says.
